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Last week, I shouted about the possibility of being a perfectly decent parent and teacher. This week, I’m going back over my research to offer a bit more of an insight into the highs and the lows of being a teacher-parent, and the various suggestions as to “how” to do it from my research.

My doctorate concluded that parenthood has a significant impact on the “teacher identity” of both mothers and fathers. This works both positively and negatively.

The positive effects, which I’ve termed “role enrichment”, include:

• A firmer sense of educational values and moral purpose, which goes back to the basics of “Why teach?” It’s as simple and as huge as the desire to have a positive impact on the life chances of young people.
• Improved time-management and efficiency. “I just get my head down and get it done so I can be there to pick up my children,” said one participant. It’s amazing how the impossibility of faffing around can improve output.
• Increased empathy with colleagues, students and their parents.

The other side is all too familiar to most of us:

• Teaching is a “leaky” job - it gets into all elements of our lives if we’re not careful - and this is draining and exhausting. And it’s SO noisy: “Miss, miss, miss!”, “Mumm, Muuum, Muuuum!”
• The guilt - oh, the guilt! If it’s not going one way (“Mummy, you never come to my assemblies!”), it’s going the other, as you skulk out at 3.30pm for your child’s dentist appointment in the hope that your beady-eyed line-manager won’t pass judgement again.
• Negative impact on career trajectory, with part-time hours often involving the compromise of giving up any responsibilities. This affects women in particular, with 84 per cent citing motherhood as having a negative impact on career progression.

My research concluded with the following recommendations, which are universally applicable and will benefit all staff - not just parents!

• Ditch the guilt. It has no demonstrable useful purpose.
• As well as being a parent and a teacher, isolate time in your week to be a human, whether it’s to read a book or go for a run.
• For school leaders: get the school calendar in place early on so we can plan our time carefully. Spontaneous staff meetings generally go down like a bucket of cold sick.
• Treat your staff as “humans first, teachers second” in Mary Myatt’s words. This is about the small things, as well as the big ones. Courtesy, time to listen, “good morning”, “thanks” and “sorry” go a long way.
• And finally, this may sound a bit disingenuous, but it’s been one of my survival secrets: ditch the “having it all” ideal. The idea that you have to be perfect at everything you do. Perfectionism is the parent-teacher’s worst enemy.

Get a cleaner if it will make life easier, leave the washing up until the next day, have a trusted fellow school-run parent on hand to remind you of deadlines you’re likely to forget, leave school on the bell at least once a week, DON’T synch your work email to your personal phone and have at least one day each weekend when you don’t think about work of any kind.

We’re all human - and our children (those at home and those in the classroom) learn as much from our fallibility than they do from when we get it right. Good enough is - and has to be - good enough.

Emma Kell is a secondary teacher in north-east London and author of